Because you're
by Kikcac
Summary: I kept on thinking about what could have been. I know you're holding her hands. Set after the great shinobi war. Sasunarusasu.


**Disclaimer:** I don't fucking own Naruto because if I did, unlike Kishimoto I would have made it gay. As it should have been.

* * *

I kept on thinking about what could have been. I know you're holding her hands. I know I'm on the backgrounds. I know I'm supposed to like her but my eyes were fixated on your wide shoulders.

I recalled the smaller silhouette I used to chase so many years ago. The boy with the Uchiha crest. It was obvious for me to go to whatever extend possible to reach you.

I'd hunt you down, I'd kill for you. And if we can't come to an agreement and you decided to hurt important things in my life I'd die with you. You who was now looking at her. Your eyes were hidden behind long bangs you started to grow after the war, I can't see what kind of expression graced your tender figures. I don't know what you are thinking.

All I could do right now was to bitterly take in your presence, comforting myself how no one can feel you the way I do. And how no one can feel me like you do.

I swallowed, my mouth went dry before I knew it.

As the weeding ceremony went on, everybody were busy chatting up to each other and while you and her greet everyone, I left.

I had to run away, I though to myself. Your images filled my heart 'till the brink and it started to flood my whole being.

The cocky little brat, the less cocky little brat, the unrecognizable friend, the cruel killer, the person whom I long for, my rival, my best friend.

Gaara once asked me to define what friendship was and to what extend should I allow myself to indulge you.

It was during the time the kages decided to execute you, Sasuke. I honestly have no idea, but the moment I though about you dying it hurts so much I can't physically take it. Maybe it was around that time I realize I'm willing to sacrifice for you, I'm willing to die for you as long as I can stop you from hurting our village.

Why do you care about me so much? You used to ask me, over and over.

Because I'm your friend I answered, I made up my mind, I was sure. And you looked so surprise, your dark eyes turned grey, you seemed hurt. All those times, you always looked so sad Sasuke. Even when you were blabbering about killing me off, even when you were hitting me with your deadliest blows, I wonder if you knew, you looked really desperate, Sasuke.

I fastened my steps, jumping through the roofs. Street noises are killing me, wind gusts are stabbing me like million needles. I'm in pain Sasuke.

It leaves me wonder think, how much it would've hurt you to take that blow for me, at that bridge.

Mind your own business! I stirred, petrified.  
Hell if I know, you said. My body just moved on it's own. You said.

Until now, I can't fully figure what you meant.

Does that mean I'm your dearest? One of your dearest?

Seldom, I would catch you looking at Sakura with such soft gazes. I imagine that's what love would look like, for you.

You never looked at me that way. You always frown, you always look angry. Sasuke, does that mean, for you she's...

Before he knew it Naruto had stopped at the ruined Valley. The people had left it as is to comemorate their pride. The statues were completely blown off. Hashirama and Madara's sealing hand lay cold on the grown, incidentally forming the seal of reconciliation. Naruto stood on top of it. He stared blankly at the valley that'd started flowing again.

He knelt down to touch the soil, recalling how cold it was that day. If he could choose the person beside him in his agony it would have no doubt been Sasuke. And that day Sasuke was there.

They were only 17, kids trying to punch the shits out of each other. Wounded blood everywhere. He forgot everything, Sakura, Kakashi, the world. It's only between Sasuke and him. Naruto never forget his friends, he'd wanted to protect them, to save everyone. But for his best friend, he was more than willing to die.  
Naruto slowly lied down where he presumed he once did, looked over his side at the place Sasuke were.

He laughed at himself. Of course, Sasuke couldn't have been there anymore, he was probably hand in hand with Sakura right now.

Naruto wondered how the weeding went and how much time had passed. Was it done or not.

The sky had been tainted completely dark. When he left it was still sunny. He tried to stop himself from imagining Sasuke and Sakura going back to the Uchiha household. What they would...  
He screamed. He screamed so loud his throat went completely sore. His breathing started to accelerate, his whole body heated up.

S... Shit! Naruto grunted. Trying to control himself.

In the end, when the attacks finally calmed down, he curled up and tears started to stream down his cheeks. Eyes wide open, Naruto imagined Sasuke, bruised, tired, left eye forced shut, staring at him.

He was with Sasuke first, he spent the night with Sasuke first.

Naruto smiled faintly, clenched his right hand. In that poodle of blood, with their broken arms, he never told Sasuke how he vividly felt Sasuke's hand in his. He caressed it and squeezed it against his own. He, he held Sasuke's hand first.

What does he want from Sasuke? Naruto bit his lips, Sasuke was his friend, Sasuke was...

He never imagined his attraction towards Sasuke was anywhere near the kind Sakura does, nor does he ever felt like marrying him. But, right now, his heart is telling him otherwise.

He doesn't want Sasuke to belong to anyone else. He couldn't understand the feelings he coukd have felt for another man. He wasdisgusted when Konohamaru played that nasty trick and turned into naked Sasuke and Sai. He wasn't, he wasn't attracted to Sasuke sexually. BUt the idea of him sharing anything with someone else stabbed him.

Sasuke is his other half, Sasuke is him. He is Sasuke. Naruto sneezed, holding his knees briefly before letting go and let his eyes wander to the shinning moonlight.

He doesn't dare to form words to his though. He just lay there in silence, vaguelly listening to the watterfall.

And without thinking, he leaned in to where he presumed Sasuke were,put a hand behind his dark strands and lay a gentle kiss on his swollen lips.

Just as he'd expected goosebumps ran down his spine,his stomach boiled almost painfully, sweats broke down his skin as he though the urge to puke. Naruto let out a small chuckle. It was much like his first kiss back in his academy days on the second row, third desk.


End file.
